Digital Aphormisms

Collusion

via @aedison (http://averyedison.com)

Thursday July 30th 2009, 9:03am

Jesus: You betcha. *You* betcha. You *betcha*.
Judas: What are you doing?
Jesus: Practicing my Sarah Palin. She seems pretty popular.
Judas: People *hate* her, Jesus.
Jesus: She seems to have a pretty loyal fanbase.
Judas: Sure, of nutjobs who hang on her every word regardless of inconsistency, contradiction, or inherent insanity.
Jesus: …
Judas: I can see why you like her.
Jesus: Whatever. Does my wink look good to you?
Judas: I don’t know what you think a wink is, but it is *not* whatever you’re doing to your face there.
Jesus: Yeah, I’m having trouble with it.
Judas: Would you like some help?
Jesus: Actually, there’s a book in the library on facial expressions. I figure that might be handy. I’d really appreciate if you went to get it for me. Do you know where the library is?
Judas: Of course I kno-
Jesus: You just go down the street, take a left, go straight ahead, and then go fuck yourself.
Judas: …You know, I’m not even sure what I “did” to you this time.
Jesus: Made fun of Sarah Palin, made fun of my wink, and implied I might need help.
Judas: Oh, right. Right. Same time tomorrow.
Jesus: Sure. Tell the guys I said you were gay.
Judas: No problem, Jesus.
Jesus: Wait, scratch that — bump it up to *super* gay.